Now the conversations become structure. The contract is one page with your ground rules – not legal paperwork, but the promises you make each other about how you work, decide and talk. Don't over-engineer it: one page you live by beats ten perfect ones nobody reads. Sign it, put it on the fridge or the packing-room noticeboard – for real.
Roles and decisions
Who decides what? "We decide everything together" sounds nice but doesn't survive harvest pace. Split it: who has the final say on operations, on money, on the brand, on hiring – and which decisions require both of you? Write the lines into the contract.
The meeting rhythm: the farm meeting is not the dinner table
The most dangerous thing about working with family is that work never ends. The cure is simple and proven (farm families the world over run it): give work its own meetings, and the rest becomes family time.
- The weekly meeting – 30 min, fixed time, coffee helps: the week's status, who does what. Start with a check-in: "what's giving me energy / draining me right now?"
- The monthly meeting – 1 hour: money, bigger decisions, looking ahead. Note the decisions – one line is enough.
- The family council – every quarter: the big questions (direction, roles, the future), ideally with everyone affected, including those who don't work in the business.
The conflict routine
Different people argue differently: someone withdraws (0–2 on the scale), someone pushes harder (8–10). No position is wrong – but the work gets done in the middle, where you stay curious and separate the issue from the person. Decide in the contract:
- Your productive zone (for most pairs 4–6) – and that you pause when someone drifts out of it.
- Your reset word – a neutral word or gesture anyone may use when the temperature rises.
- The reset routine: say it ("I'm at a 7 – I need a pause") → two minutes of silence → two sentences each: "I hear you saying …" and "What I'm trying to solve is …" → decide the smallest next step.
And the phrases that help along the way: "Same side – the problem is X, not each other." · "What matters most to you here?" · "What would change your mind?"
Boundaries and money
Two more lines in the contract: work-free zones and times (the bedroom? Sunday dinner? after 8 pm?) – and financial honesty: salary, draws and personal finances are discussed openly at the monthly meeting, not in passing. Transparency before fairness – fair isn't always 50/50, but secret is always wrong.
Sign it – and book the 90-day check
The contract is version 1.0, not a constitution. Sign it, put it up, and book the date 90 days from now when you review it: what's working, what should change?
When you're done: the contract on the fridge
What you should have: one signed page – roles and decisions, the meeting rhythm, the productive zone and reset word, work-free zones, the money principle and a booked 90-day date.
Do this next
Hang the contract where you see it every day. Last step: Keep it alive – the habits that keep the contract in force.